there are a couple topics floating around the wedding blogs right now that are never far from my mind: food (more specifically dieting and even more specifically dieting for your wedding) and having kids. If I was a better writer, I would probably spilt this into two posts. But I'm not. So heres a jumbled mess of a looney person.
chapter 1- food vs. lisa
lets just start by saying yes I am putting off doing wedding stuff right now. Isn't that clear yet? ha ha. alright, so weight and diets have always been touchy subjects for me. Me and food have always had a pretty serious relationship. Some of my earliest memories are food related. My beloved cheez-its, the italian wedding soup my grandmother made, these super sugary granola bars a best friend in high school always had at her house, eating poptarts at another friends house, the lollipops they handed out after dance practice (what? everyone didn't do ballet for the candy?), buttered 'wagon wheel' pasta my dad always made. I remember being excited to go to camp because we would get bagel sandwiches. being at camp and eating taffy and I recall very specifically eating dinner once which was comprised of cheese ravioli and mashed potatoes (maybe I wanted pierogis??). I realize that was long and ridiculous but my dear readers, that ain't even the half of it. Lucky for you, you do not have to hear the rest of my list of foods I enjoy (I think I already mention them enough on this blog as it is). Basically, read this book and you'll get the idea (now I never had any eating disorders other than body images issues but so much of the rest of this book rang true. Oh and its awesome and hilarious too). Also, I have also had a love hate/relationship with exercise. Well, lets be real: a hate relationship. I'll do it for a while, get distracted stop, feel bad, eat, feel worse, exercise. I am not super good with self control.
So anyways here I am an engaged woman of 26 who has promised herself about 30 times since the start of the engagement but the diet starts today. I haven't lost weight yet except for the couple months when Jillian Michaels was yelling at me every morning. I realized I may have said this over and over but at this point, with 3 months to go I'm hoping I just look good in my dress as me. I'm not going to be this crazy skinny girl I always want to be. I don't think these hips of mine would let me weight 115 anways. I'm still working toward feeling better about myself but luckily I have an awesome man in my life who thinks I'm smokin. He always makes me feel good.
chapter 2- kiddies (which is a nice segue-way from the above sentence about my serious "birthing" hips)
God I love babies. I have wanted to be a mom since I was about 13. I have already had several conversations about Thomas the Tank Engine with my poor friends after hanging out with one of my favorite little guys (my little cousin who is also going to be our ring bearer). My one worry is one that always haunts me: $$$. Babies cost a lot and I would not want anything but a super awesome life for the little ones. But they will have extremely loving parents, cool cats to hang and handcrafted baby toys (I've made them for everyone else, I hope soon I can make them for me!). Always in the back of my mind, I think of our old downstairs neighbors when we lived in our apartment. I always think if they could do it, we definetly can. Basically picture if Deb from Napoleon Dynamite (complete with side pony and popped collar) married Danny Bonaduce and had 2 little boys who never wore shirts but always had farmers tans. Granted there are many things they do/did that I would not but they made it work. So can we. Also, I probably need to stop reading blogs like this where I just end up being being jealous and angry that I can handcraft clothing while growing the best garden of all time while being a super mom and cooking organic healthy meals and making art all at the same time with my 17 arms.
Sigh. Sorry to offload that craziness (but thanks for listening)